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The Legend of Rock, Paper, Scissors by: Drew Daywalt

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“Long ago, in an ancient and distant realm called the Kingdom of Backyard, there lived a warrior named Rock.” Rock travels far and wide searching for an adversary that might best him. The clothespin fails in battle, and the tangy sweetness of the apricot is easily squashed. Meanwhile, in the Empire of Mom’s Home Office and the Kitchen Realm, respectively, Paper and Scissors set out on similar quests. Each trounces every foe. The likes of Computer Printer cannot stand against Paper (paper jam!). And the Dinosaur-Shaped Chicken Nuggets are snipped into submission by Scissors. Then Rock meets Scissors and thrashes her. She is pleased, but Rock feels he might never find his challenger until Paper arrives, uttering the fighting words “Hi there.”

Show Transcript

Welcome to our summer reading. Have you ever played rock-paper-scissors and wondered who invented that game or today story is the legend of rock paper scissor in an ancient and distant called the kingdom of the backyard Rock in all the land sad because no one could give him a worthy challenge Rock travel to the mysterious Forest of overbite of tire swing where he met a war Giants underwear Warrior Rock versus closed in Victorious even though he had one rock was still unsatisfied so he journeyed on to the mystical Tower of Grandma's favorite hot tree there he was met by an old and Delicious Fruit look like a fuzzy little butt I challenge you to a duel let the battles Rock versus apricot I will beat you rock with my tart and 10 sweetener rock is Victorious and yet who has bought me no joy they were but the bottle had been too easy so we left the kingdom of Stockyard still in search of a worthy foe meanwhile in the Empire of my home office and Windswept desk Mountain a second great warrior stop the glory his name was paper even though he was also sad because no one could outwit him he sent out Death Mountain to find his match I got a lot of the likes of you and spit them out every little paper giant box monster paper vs. computer printer not a paper jam paper is Victorious having beaten the fiercest spider of Death Mountain paper climb down to the pit I'm office trash bin where he battled the most terrifying chord of creatures in all the land the half-eaten bag of Trail Mix paper vs. cocky and bag of trail mix lizard has blotted out the Sun paper wins again beat me and so with a heavy heart paper Japan Empire of Mom's home office at the same time in the kitchen Brown in the Tiny Village junk drawer great warrior they called her scissors and she was a fast as blade in all the land she too was unchallenged Thursday her first opponent was a strange sticky Circle man and I will leave you with my education and tangling Powers nurses scissors is Victoria desert spores on the kitchen ROM to The Frigid waste of refrigerator freezer there she met her most fearsome adversary dinosaurs made of Frozen breaded chicken I have come from the far reaches of kitchen to battle you owe bizarre and you breaded dinosaurs before our child pleasing shapes and slavers swordmaster no one can resist our crunchy chicken nuggets dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets no wait no they don't scissors is Victorious am I still good but not even dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets can eat me to be on her own kingdom a challenger who was her equal then one day in the great Cavern of two car garage Rock and scissors came face-to-face if I hope you're wearing your I'm willing to fight you then yes we are literally one Rock versus scissor an epic and legendary battle ensued But ultimately rock is Victorious you have made me so happy by beating me I wish I felt your joyful but I have yet to meet a warrior who can beat me hi there those are fighting words wait paper this is the best day of my life thank you for winning a great night of paper that's fine for you but it looks as though no one will ever beat me scissors versus paper you gave me and the three great warriors hugged each other and dance for joy and they became fast friends finally they had each their matches they were so happy in fact began the battle again rounds and rounds they went in the most massive and epic three-way Battle of all time and it is said that this joyous struggle still rages on to this very day that is white Frozen around the world and back yards on playgrounds and yes even in classrooms still honor the three great warriors by playing Rock Beyond

Listed in English Language Arts

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The Legend of Rock, Paper, Scissors by: Drew Daywalt

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